Five Years
by RackOnInNC
Summary: Castiel's journey back to Dean and what happens after.  NO SLASH.  Spoilers for Season 7, occurs 5 years after that. Cuteness, babies, angst and of course danger ensue.  Short Chapters for a quick read.
1. Five Years

**I really have no idea where this came from. I'm currently working diligently on new Chapters for "Castiel Grows Up" and "Drop Kicked by God" along with a totally new story that I'm not going to publish until it is finished, but this one just sort of came out as a "stream of consciousness" this evening. Not even sure what to call it, since it isn't exactly a story or a poem, but I hope someone enjoys it.**

**Not a One Shot anymore...I decided to carry on with the story.**

* * *

><p><strong>My name is John. It's been five years…<br>**

Five years since a Good Samaritan rescued my bloody and broken body from certain death.

Four years and six months since I awoke in the hospital and became aware that I was still alive.

Four years since I took my first halting steps again in rehab.

Three years and six months since my rehab therapist, Mary, took pity on the homeless man with no memory and invited me into her home.

Three years since Mary and I got married.

Two years and three months since the birth of my twin daughters, Deanna and Samantha.

One year since we bought a house and I bought a car for the first time that I can remember.

* * *

><p><strong>I now know that my name is Castiel. It's been five days…<br>**

Five days since the dreams started.

Four days and six hours since the dreams began to transform into memories.

Four days since I remembered my real name.

Three days and six hours since I knew that I had to find him.

Three days since I dialed the number and hung up when he answered.

Two days and three hours since I called a friend in the police department to trace the call and find his location.

One day since I kissed my wife and children goodbye and started driving to Sioux Falls.

* * *

><p><strong>I am Castiel, Former Angel of the Lord. It's been five minutes…<br>**

Five minutes since my former life and my current life collided.

Four minutes and thirty seconds since I looked at him and said simply, "Dean".

Four minutes since he looked at me in disbelief, then threw holy water and borax at me.

Three minutes and thirty seconds since he handed me his demon knife and I watched the blood flow from my arm.

Three minutes since he enveloped me in a hug so tight I could not breathe.

Two minutes and fifteen seconds since he withdrew from the hug said simply, "Cas."

One minute since he looked at my sensible family car and rolled his eyes.

* * *

><p>I'm finally home, but yet I am not. It still falls to me to go back to my wife and tell her the truth of my existence. I owe her that even if it means she wants nothing more to do with me.<p>

To tell Dean that in addition to owning a car and learning to drive, that I am a husband and father now.

To somehow combine my new life and my old life.

I begin by handing Dean the family portrait that rested on the seat beside me all the way here.

Dean looks at it and back at me. He asks their names and I hesitate for a second before telling him.

Dean laughs when I tell him the names were entirely Mary's idea. He says, "It must have been Fate then."

He laughs even harder when I tell him that I went by the name of John before my memories returned.

I begin to laugh also. The absurdity of the confluence of events that brought me back to him becomes too much.

We share a beer on the hood of the Impala.

The task I am faced with seems daunting, but Dean will be by my side this time. For that I am thankful.

**FIN**


	2. New Beginning

**I know I promised I was working on my other stories, but this kind of ran away with me once I started thinking about it. Here's a few more short Chapters….let me know if I should continue. Written quickly and probably has errors. If you see any please be sure to let me know. **

* * *

><p><strong>A New Beginning<strong>

I swallowed the last of my beer and looked over at Dean. He looked back and downed the rest of his. The easy part was over. I shifted uncomfortably, wondering if he would forgive me for my past misdeeds.

He fidgeted with the label on the beer bottle for a second and took a deep breath. "So Cas, you're a Dad now? That's awesome."

Apparently he decided to avoid that for now. I think about my adorable daughters and smile. "Yes, it is…awesome. Strange though, when you consider how I got there."

"I can't see it somehow…you doing _Dad _stuff."

"It was difficult at first. Mary wasn't sure why I had no idea how to be a father, but I learned quickly since she was the bread winner and I stayed home with them."

"I'd love to have seen that…and twins to boot. I bet you had your hands full."

I was quiet for a moment, remembering my disastrous first few days alone with them. "It was… rather humorous in retrospect. I wish you could have seen it too. I'm sure you would have been amused."

Dean slid off the hood and frowned slightly, then grabbed another beer for us. I took mine but did not open it, waiting for the inevitable chastisement Dean would probably give me.

He stood there for a moment and inspected his beer as if it held the answers to the mysteries of the universe, then he began to speak. "It was really stupid….what you did."

I nodded my head. "It was, and I am ashamed. To see my daughters playing and know that what I did could have destroyed the world for them and everyone else…it weighs on me."

Dean snorted a laugh. "Well Cas, if you hadn't done it they wouldn't exist and you'd probably still be the 3,000 year old virgin."

"Very true."

I slid off the hood and opened my beer, then took a long swig before speaking again. This would be hard. "I'm…sorry about Bobby. He would not have died if not for me."

Dean's features hardened. "How did you know?"

The set of Dean's jaw did nothing for my fear that he would ultimately reject me. Although I was infinitely better at human interaction than I had been five years ago, reading Dean was still as difficult ever. "Once my memories returned I did a lot of research. Although the accounts on the internet are rather white-washed, I was able to read between the lines. I'm so incredibly sorry."

Dean looked at me with an unreadable expression and then his shoulders sagged as he leaned back against the Impala. He sighed. "Damned old coot would've gotten himself killed doing something else probably. At least he died doing what he loved and managed to give us the clue we needed to stop the bastards."

"But you wouldn't have had to do that if it wasn't for me."

Dean looked at me and shook his head. "You don't get it do you Cas?"

I wrinkled my brow in confusion. "No, get what?"

Dean laughed…I suppose because the look I had just given him was much like the ones the clueless Angel me had given him so many times before. My wife says it's very cute. "If you hadn't made the deal with Crowley, he would have cracked Purgatory by himself…or made the deal with Raphael. It probably would have been even more of a disaster then. The Winchesters just weren't supposed to be happy…or carefree. Fate has seen to it that it is our job to save the world every damn time. Hell…God will probably just keep us alive forever so he doesn't have to train anyone else."

I hadn't considered that the events that transpired would have taken place one way or the other, but Dean was probably right. Crowley was so power hungry he would have gone elsewhere if I hadn't made the deal. The thought of Crowley and Raphael teaming up and unleashing the Leviathans on the world made me cringe involuntarily. "I had not considered that. Of course I've only been able to remember everything for about a week now, so there were matters of more import to consider."

A small smile wrinkled Dean's lip. "Like telling your wife you used to be an Angel?"

"Something like that. I just told her that I had been remembering some things and that I needed to come here to see you to clear things up. I didn't want to unload everything on her until I talked to you. If you…rejected me then I would have gone back home and allowed things to remain as they were. She would have no need to know."

"You mean too much to me, Cas. We've all done stupid stuff. Yours was a tad over the top, but I see it now. I've had a long time to think about it. Of course the fact that you died doing it sort of tempered my view of it."

"But I didn't die. Does that change things?"

"Hell no. I'm just a little surprised that we didn't pick up on you being out there."

"When I started remembering I did wonder why you hadn't figured that out."

"I had other things to worry about I guess."

I knew I had to drop the other shoe and ask about Sam. I was surprised that Dean hadn't brought it up. "Like Sam?"

"Yeah like Sam."

When he didn't offer more I took a deep breath and asked the question. "Is he OK?"

"Yeah…it took a while, but he's OK now. He's going to start back at Stanford in the fall…finally become the lawyer he was meant to be instead of a hunter."

"Good. That was actually the first thing I remembered…breaking his wall. I just wish I could have fixed it before…well before I went nuclear."

"It's all good Cas. He wouldn't have needed the damn wall if he hadn't taken that dive into the Pit. It's not your fault and I probably would have done the same in your position. If we had stayed out of your way…let you concentrate on what you were doing it might not have happened the way it did."

I smiled, remembering all the times I just wanted them out of the way. "True. You were quite the distraction. I should have just zapped you back into Balthazar's _go to_alternate dimension until I was done."

Dean began to laugh and I wondered what was so funny. "_Now _you think of that! Probably would've worked."

The tension seemed to leave the air and I relaxed a bit. "So we're good?"

"Yeah Cas, we're good."

"What about you?" Are you…still hunting?"

Dean looked up at Bobby's rebuilt house and smiled. "Yes and no, I guess I've stepped into Bobby's shoes now as any good son would do. I do a few hunts, but I leave most of it to the younger guys…help them out like Bobby did with us. What about you Cas? I mean what are you going do now that you remember."

"I don't know Dean. It's been very difficult to think about everything in such a short time. I suppose I will go home, tell Mary everything and hope she doesn't…um freak out. She used to talk a lot about things I didn't understand at the time, like some crazy guy that thought he was God. Now that I have remembered I'm not sure how she didn't know it was me."

"Thank Devereaux."

"Who's Devereaux?"

"The computer guru guy Bobby sent us to. He managed to clean up the evidence for you while he was researching the Leviathans. I didn't know it at the time…I guess maybe you have Bobby to thank for that, since I didn't ask him to do it. There's only a lot of very blurry pictures out there now and most people attribute it to a hoax of some kind…sort of like a Bigfoot sighting."

"Bigfoot?"

Dean clapped me on the back and smiled. "Good to see some things haven't changed, Cas."


	3. Worlds Collide

**I just saw that I had uploaded a Chapter with the same name for another story...sorry about that! This is the correct one!**

**Worlds Collide**

I left Dean in Sioux Falls and made the long drive back home. It took me most of the way to decide how to break it to Mary that things were a little bit more complicated now that I knew who and _what _I used to be. Rather than go directly home, I stopped at a motel much like the ones that Dean and Sam used to be found in just to think things over. The next morning I got up early and drove the rest of the way, and I was surprised to see the Impala parked a few blocks away from my house. I slowed as I passed it and saw Dean inside. He motioned with his cell phone and I called him after I pulled into the driveway.

"Dean, why are you here?"

"Don't really know Cas. I just thought…well maybe you could use some backup? I mean when you tell Mary?"

I wasn't sure bringing a stranger into it was the right thing to do, but if anyone could provide the moral support I needed it was Dean. At the very least he could meet Mary and the girls and my stomach flipped a little at the prospect of seeing Dean's face when my beautiful daughters came out to greet me. I could see Mary through the living room window getting them ready to come out. "Just park behind me in the driveway."

With that I hung up and quickly called Mary.

"Hey Mare…I'm home."

"So I see. Why are you just sitting in the car?"

"The friend I went to see came also. I thought he could help explain things…but the reason I called is to tell you to wait until you see the big black car pull up behind me to let the girls out. I want to see his face."

Mary giggled and I could hear her struggling to get them into their sweaters…usually a two person job. "Sure thing, babe. I love you! See you in a second."

"Love you too."

I sat there for a moment and smiled, picturing the squirming girls and Mary trying to get them dressed. I was actually better at it than she was at this point…I had learned a lot about fatherhood in the last few years. I sighed and felt my stomach turn as I thought about the possibility that Mary might find the truth too much to handle and kick me out. It had to be done though. She deserved to know the truth. At least with Dean here I would have someplace to go if she did. The rumble of the Impala broke my reverie, so I took a deep breath and got out of the car.

Dean took in the neatly manicured lawn and the house, then let out a low whistle. "Wow Cas, nice house."

"Thank you, Dean. Um…can you remember not to call me Cas?"

"You didn't tell her yet?"

"No. I didn't want her to start poking into things before I got back and I knew she probably would."

"No problem. I think I can do that. So what do you want-"

He didn't have time to get the sentence out before Deanna and Samantha came screaming out the door, barely contained enough to let Mary help them down the two steps that led up to the porch. Once they were on the ground they toddled toward me yelling _Daddy_and I looked back to enjoy the stunned expression on Dean's face. Once I had gathered them both up and kissed them I carried them both up onto the porch, stopping to kiss Mary. Dean was still standing there with his mouth open. I smiled and winked at Mary as I handed Samantha off to her, then went back down the steps to Dean.

"Deanna, I'd like you to meet your Uncle Dean."

She looked up with that confused face she had apparently learned from me. Dean collapsed in laughter. Once he had recovered enough to speak he reached out to see if she would come to him. She ducked her head into my shoulder as I expected.

He reached out and touched her hand which she immediately jerked away. "Hi Deanna. It's nice to meet you."

After a second she finally looked up at me. "Dean won't bite. He's nice. I promise."

Dean held out his arms again and she took one last look at me before hesitantly letting him take her. He stood there for a minute looking totally out of his element, before handing her back and looking up at Mary. It struck me then for the first time that my wife looked vaguely like his mother, complete with long blond hair. I could tell he was rather taken aback.

Mary took the initiative and introduced herself. "Hi, I'm Mary…and this is Samantha. Come on in."

We all went into the house and I motioned Dean to the couch so Mary and I could put the girls down for a nap. We didn't need any distractions for the conversation that was about to take place, and even though I was happy to be back with all of my girls, I could feel my stomach starting to knot in anticipation of what might happen. Once the twins were down I took Mary out into the hall.

"Mare…I have some things to tell you now that I have my memory back. Some of them might be …difficult to hear."

She looked at me and I could see uncertainty in her eyes behind the smile. "I figured as much since you had to bring reinforcements, but isn't this a conversation we should be having alone?"

"I intended to, but he came on his own…and he can help explain some of it. Give you confirmation."

"And why should I need confirmation from a complete stranger?"

She was getting more tense at this point and I didn't really know how to reassure her. "I honestly don't know if you will. Some of it…well all of it will be pretty unbelievable, and he was there with me the whole time."

"You aren't going to tell me you are gay and he was your partner are you?"

I had to snort at that. "No, he's just a good friend…and the closest thing to family I had…before."

"No other family that you left behind you are going to surprise me with?"

"Nothing as mundane as that. You and the girls are my only family…at least there's that."

She relaxed a bit at that and let me take her hand and lead her back into the living room where Dean had made himself at home by perusing the many family pictures hanging on the walls and sitting on every available surface. He shot up guiltily, like he had been caught doing something wrong as soon as we entered the room.

"I…uh…wow Ca-um _John _you have a great little family here."

_Way to bolster Mary's confidence Dean. _I glared at him and he sat down, one knee bouncing up and down nervously. Mary looked at me and frowned. This wasn't going well.

I sat down on the couch and motioned for Mary to join me. She hesitated a moment and then sat down with a huge sigh. I closed my eyes, took her hand in mine and dove right in.

"First things first I suppose. My real name is Castiel."

She looked at me and giggled. "_Castiel_…as in Castiel the Angel of Thursday?"

"Yes."

"Was your family extra religious or something?"

I rubbed my face with my hands and readied myself for her reaction. "Something like that. You told me once that you believed in Angels, right?"

"Um, yes."

"Well I wasn't just named after him…I am…or rather _was_ an Angel. I _am _Castiel."

Her reaction was not what I expected. She laughed and could not stop…she laughed until she cried and Dean and I just exchanged looks. When she saw that my expression was still serious she stopped abruptly.

"Wait…I thought you were joking. You're _serious_?"

"You know I don't joke. I'm serious."

"Dean? Did you put him up to this?"

Dean squirmed and looked look at me like he regretted his decision to back me up. "No Ma'am. He's telling the truth."

Mary shook her head and I could see the wheels turning. I could also see the medical professional in her starting to wonder whether she should have me committed. "Um. Ah…I don't know what to say to that. You are serious?"

I locked her eyes with my best innocent look. "Mare...I don't know what else to say. Have I ever lied to you?"

"No…but how can I believe such an incredible story….that's just crazy."

"I wish I had a way to show you, but seeing as I am human now I can't."

Dean was staring at the ceiling, or the floor, or anywhere but us. I turned to him and placed my hand on his arm, silently asking permission for him to show her the only remaining evidence of my past deeds. I only hoped it was still there. I waited as he took off his coat and rolled up his sleeve, then placed my hand on the fading scar gingerly. Mary looked confused and started drawing away from me.

I closed my eyes and started to speak but Dean beat me to it. "I was dead. Cas was the angel that rescued my soul from Hell and resurrected me. This is the proof."

The room was silent for a moment and then a sharp cry from the girls' room broke the silence soon followed by a second one. I automatically started to get up and Mary jumped up and pushed me back down on the couch.

Mary shot me a warning look as I tried to get back up. "No! I'm not letting you near them right now. This is too weird. You're going to the psychiatrist before you get within earshot of them again. Just get _out_!"

I felt the tears coming, and normally I was strong enough not to let them out. Mary had commented many times during my rehab that I was the strongest person she had ever seen, because I never let it show that I was in pain. Even now, many years later, I still have a lot of pain since nearly every bone in my body was broken when they found me, but I figure it is part of my punishment. I just consider it a part of being human. The tears broke forth this time though, because the pain wasn't coming from my shattered body. It was coming from my heart breaking into a million pieces. I really hadn't expected such a negative reaction. Disbelief maybe, but I never seriously considered that she would just throw me out.

There was a moment of sadness in her eyes when she saw the tears, but then they hardened again and I got up, grabbed my coat from the hook by the door and walked out. I didn't know where I was going or how I was going to get there, since we only had the one car and I wasn't going to leave her without it. I automatically went to the porch swing that I rocked my daughters in when they wouldn't stop crying. I hoped it would do the same for me. A few seconds later Dean appeared beside me and put his hand on my shoulder. I had completely forgotten he was in there in my haste to leave.

"I'm sorry Cas. I probably shouldn't have come. I thought it would be easier, but I guess I was wrong."

I sniffed and wiped the tears off my face with my sleeve. "I don't think it would've mattered. I just thought since she had told me she believed in Angels that it would be easier."

"Cas, a lot of people will tell you they believe until they are confronted with one. I didn't."

"But you didn't truly believe."

"True, but knowing all I did about what is really out there I should have been easier to convince…and I pretty much reacted the same way. She'll come around."

"She was just worried that I had another family…or that I was gay and you were my lover. She wasn't ready for Angels."

Dean suppressed a snort and tried not to laugh, but he looked at me apologetically as it came out anyway. "I'm sorry Cas, but you have to admit that's too funny."

A small huff escaped my lips as well. And I smiled weakly. "Maybe I should have just started with my name and left it at that for today."

"I don't know Cas. If you want her to know then it's probably going to take a little time before she believes it. "

"What about Dee Dee and Sam? What will they think when I'm not there to put them to bed tonight and stay with them tomorrow? How will I survive without them? I can't Dean."

Dean's mouth quirked slightly when I used the girls' nicknames, but his face settled into the Dean Winchester look of determination. "Look Cas, let's just go get a room and get something to eat. Give her a chance to cool down?

I nodded my head weakly and let Dean guide me down the steps and into the Impala. For the first time since I woke up in the hospital I felt completely alone…lost without the bright, adoring eyes of my daughters. Dean opened the door and waited until I hesitantly sat down. Somehow just being in the Impala made it even worse…like I was going back to my old life. I started to get out and thought better of it. I had no way of getting anywhere except walking, and at least I wouldn't be alone. Dean seemed to sense my indecision.

"Would you rather take your car?"

I looked up at him gratefully, he understood without me saying a word. "Thanks, but no. Mary will need it…I'll be fine."


	4. Lost

**Lost  
><strong>  
>We rode in silence. Dean didn't even turn on his usual blaring music. I had no idea where we were going, but I really didn't care. I had never felt so lost, even in those first confusing days in the hospital, when everything and everyone was foreign to me. I just knew Dean would choose the crappy motel right on the edge of town, in fact I was betting he had probably already checked into it before he came to the house. I was surprised when we arrived at the comparatively upscale suites a only a few blocks away from my house instead…not exactly luxurious, but by Winchester motel standards it was a 5 star hotel.<p>

Dean smiled. "Not what you were expecting?"

"Um…no. Has your taste in lodgings taken an upward turn since I…disappeared?"

"Hell no. I just thought…well…you know…if she did react badly you'd need a place to stay and this way you'll have your own room...some privacy if you want."

"I don't have any clothes. I guess I should've stopped to pack a bag."

Dean answered me by reaching into the back seat and placing a bag on my lap. "I sort of figured it might go down this way. I brought extras."

Maybe Dean being there when I told Mary wasn't the best plan, but at least I had him now. If he hadn't been there I'd probably still be sitting in the porch swing wondering what to do. I had learned a lot about human relationships in the last 5 years, but there had never been any strife. I didn't know how to deal with that. Dean certainly did, although he had no idea how it felt to have children of your own. I'm sure he bonded with Ben, but there is something more there when they are yours. I gripped the bag tightly and sighed.

"Come on Cas. Let's get inside and you can get settled while I go get us something to eat so you won't have to go out."

Dean was more insightful than I gave him credit for sometimes. He obviously knew that I dreaded going anywhere that I might see someone I knew. Since we weren't far away from my neighborhood the chances were high that I would, but it gave me some comfort to be as close as possible. As we entered the room I stood there with no idea what to do next. My indecision must have been written all over my face.

Dean pointed at the couch. "Sit. Just rest and don't think about it for a few minutes while I get some grub. Won't take long."

I nodded my head and sat down numbly, unable to think of anything besides how to talk to Mary again. "I don't know what to do Dean."

"About what?"

"About anything. If you weren't here I'd still be sitting on the porch wondering what to do."

"That's what friends are for Cas. Just stay here while I go out and don't do anything stupid like try to call her until I get back and we can talk about it. You _are _hungry, right?"

It hadn't actually occurred to me, but I realized I hadn't eaten since I left the motel that morning. I was hungry, but the thought of eating anything left me nauseated. I also hadn't taken a shower in my haste to get home and see my family. "I'll…um take a shower…maybe that will help me clear my head."

Dean patted me on the shoulder and gave me a thumbs up as if I had just made a momentous decision. I looked at him curiously.

"You gotta start somewhere."

"What do you mean?"

"When shit like this happens it leaves you reeling…mind going in a thousand directions at once. You can't decide on anything. I get it, but for now baby steps."

"Oh…OK."

Dean left and I took the bag he had brought for me into the bathroom. He had thought of everything, so I took my time unpacking and arranging the toothbrush, toothpaste, razor and shaving cream on the counter. The methodical pattern of something as simple as this was bringing my swirling thoughts to a somewhat less hurried pace. After I had rearranged them several times I slowly removed my clothing and then turned on the shower, waiting for the water to warm up. I inspected myself in the mirror idly while I waited. The scars of the many surgeries I had endured still lingered in many places…stark reminders of my path to this moment. It was a miracle I had even survived.

I shook my head and stepped into the shower, letting the water pelt down on my head for several minutes before I moved. I smiled slightly, remembering my first shower after recovering enough to do it on my own…I had nearly drowned myself breathing in the water. It never occurred to me that humans couldn't breathe water. I had come a long way. I could get through this.

By the time Dean returned I was freshly scrubbed and feeling a bit better. I slipped into some sweats and a t-shirt and emerged from the bathroom to see Dean laying out a smorgasbord of burgers, fries and of course pie."

Dean looked over at me and smiled when he saw me standing there. "Pie solves everything."

I smiled weakly and sighed. "Thank you, Dean."

"For what?"

"Everything. I'm glad you are here."

He shrugged and blushed slightly as I expected. He was all bluster and manly man on the outside, but there was a deeply caring and nurturing soul on the inside that rarely got to show its face. I realized in that moment that Dean _needed _someone to take care of. He was lost if he didn't have some one to look over. I might not have a guardian Angel looking over me, but I had the next best thing. I knew Dean would try his level best to make sure I came out of this in one piece.

We ate in silence, and although I really didn't feel like eating I knew that Dean would be hurt if I didn't. I also knew that if I didn't keep up my strength I couldn't get through this. After we had wordlessly cleaned up the mess he flopped down on the couch and flipped on the TV. I was eager to solve my problem, but Dean didn't seem to want to pursue it so I sat down beside him and mindlessly watched the flickering images on the TV.

I wasn't sure how long I had slept, but I awoke to the smell of coffee and the feel of sunlight on my face. I looked down to see that Dean had covered me with a blanket at some point.

"Mornin' sunshine. Coffee?"

I groaned and sat up. "How long did I sleep?"

"All night. I was going to wake you up and make you get in the bed, but you looked like you needed the sleep."

With my mind still slightly foggy from sleep it was easy to pretend for a brief moment that yesterday hadn't happened, but my heart began to ache for my girls. I longed to be standing in the nursery, looking down on their innocent sleeping faces before I got them dressed for the day. When I thought of them it made my mind go to what I would tell them when they were old enough to understand. How _do_ you tell your children that their father used to be an Angel? A few weeks ago I had been merely been contemplating how to tell them about sex when the time came. That would be easy compared to this.

I vaguely heard my name being called and then looked up to see Dean standing over me with a mug of coffee. "Oh…sorry. I was just thinking."

"Yeah, Cas. You were sort of zoned out there. Here…get some caffeine in you and see if that helps."

I gratefully took the coffee and downed half of it before he had a chance to sit down beside of me. I sat the mug on the end table and rubbed my face with both hands, dreading what the day would bring.

"Just relax Cas, baby steps."

"I don't even know what the first step is."

"I'm not sure I do either. I'm not exactly the family relations expert."

I had to snort at that. "Yes, it seems the tables are turned for this particular human interaction."

"Well, maybe you should just call her. Maybe now that she's had time to think about it she'll be more receptive?"

"I don't think so. She would probably have already called me if she was ready to talk. I wonder if she's even going to work. She's got no one to take care of the girls if I'm not there."

"So you really just stay home with them everyday? Must be nice...you should be all caught up on TV shows and movies."

I smirked at him and rolled my eyes. "You don't know much about babies do you?"

"Only what I remember from when Sammy was little…change a diaper here and there, feed 'em when they're hungry, put 'em to bed when it's time for their nap. Piece of cake."

After I burst out laughing, I regarded him with one eyebrow raised. "And what was your mother doing while you were…um…changing a diaper here and there?"

"Um washing clothes, cleaning the house, cooking, and getting up in…the…middle…um"

I finished his thought. "Of the night…yes, and changing all the diapers you didn't and probably breast feeding him when you weren't feeding him a bottle. Need I go on?"

"No. OK Cas I get it. It's a hard job."

"Now multiply that by two and throw in a former Angel with no memory and no previous experience with children."

"Oh."

"Yes, it was an unmitigated disaster at first, but I managed to figure it all out eventually."

As much as I was enjoying explaining stay-at-home Fatherhood to Dean, it was reminding me forcefully how much I missed my babies…and my wife. I stood up and sighed.

"Sorry Cas, I didn't mean to bring that up. It just sort of slipped out."

When I tried to speak again my voice cracked and I felt the prickle of tears. "I miss them."

Dean stood up and awkwardly patted me on the shoulder. I knew he probably would have hugged anyone else, but I suppose our former interactions didn't exactly make that comfortable for him. I reached out and hugged him instead. He was stiff at first, but finally relaxed as I withdrew.

"Thank you for being here."

"No problem…I just wasn't sure…I mean you know…I didn't go around hugging you before."

"Maybe you should have. Angels _wuv hugs _too you know."

Dean blushed, remembering his time in heaven. I figured he wouldn't think I'd know about that since I was earth bound at the time.

"How did you know about that?"

"Let's just say that you project your dreams rather vividly sometimes…I always knew when you were dreaming that one."

_Castiel 2 – Dean 0_. It was nice to have the upper hand with Dean in the human interaction arena for once, but it wasn't solving my problem. I sighed again sat down.

Dean sat back down also and we both sat there staring at the wall for a few minutes. We both jumped when my phone rang. It seemed strange that he was as jumpy as I was. I withdrew it from my pocket and cautiously looked at the name. It was Allison, one of the mothers in the play group that went to the park nearby everyday about this time.

"Hello?"

"John, it's Allison…is everything OK? I was worried when you didn't show up for play group and didn't call."

I didn't know what to say so I fumbled about for an answer. "Um I'm not feeling well and it looks like Dee Dee might be coming down with something also, so I…stayed home. Sorry I didn't call."

Dean was vigorously shaking his head no and rolling his eyes. I didn't understand why.

"That's OK. You feel better and look after Dee Dee...and Sam too…you don't want two sick babies on your hands when you are sick too."

"I will. Thanks for calling."

I snapped the phone shut and realized why Dean was rolling his eyes. I had another problem on my hands. If Allison and the other girls thought I was sick, they would be now be talking about bringing food to the house and helping me out with the twins. I should have just said the girls were sick. They would find out shortly that I had lied…and Mary would be put in the awkward situation of explaining why I wasn't there if she was at home. I was fairly certain she would call in sick today. I couldn't imagine her going off to work and leaving the girls with someone else.

"_Shit_!"

"Oversold it, huh?"

"You heard?"

"Her voice was rather loud…sorry to eavesdrop."

"I didn't think."

"Well I think you pretty much have to make the call now. Let Mary know what is going on."

"What if she won't answer?"

"I guess we have to go over there. Just try calling her first."

"What do I say?"

"You're the expert on babies and you don't know what to say to your wife after you've had an argument?"

"We've never _had _and argument."

"Never?"

I shook my head. Dean was probably going to be better at figuring this one out than I was. Babies were one thing…women were totally not my area of expertise even though I had somehow managed to end up married to one.

"Just dial the phone. You'll be able to tell if she's ready to talk. I think…well maybe she'll be in more a mood to listen today."

There seemed to be something he wasn't saying and he was far too eager for me to call her than I thought he'd be, but I didn't pursue it. I really just wanted to get it over with...whatever was about to happen. I touched the screen and listened to it ring…by the third ring I was about to hang up, but as I pulled the phone away from my ear I heard her answer and my girls screaming in the background.

"John?"

I stared at the phone and froze. There was nothing in her tone to tell me if she was still mad, she just sounded frazzled from dealing with the girls. Dean placed his hand on my shoulder and squeezed. I took a deep breath and recovered enough to answer.

"Mary, I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. Can we talk? Please?"

"I guess. We have to sometime. I mean I knew I was walking into a potential mine field when I married you without your memories, but I never expected you to go flippin' nuts on me. And anyway as you can hear I've got my hands full right now…they won't stop crying."

"I'm not crazy. I'll find a way to prove it to you. Let me come home and I'll get them calmed down."

There was silence in the other end of the line except for the piercing screams. I waited and knew she was weighing her options. She knew as well as I did that I was better at getting them settled. She said so frequently.

"OK, but just for the girls. They don't need to be traumatized by this just yet."

"I'll be there as soon as I can. Allison may stop by. She called when I didn't show up at the park. I told her I was sick and Dee Dee might be."

"You _lied _to her?"

"I didn't know what else to say. I wasn't expecting the call. Please Mary…I'm just no good at this…you know that."

She sighed and I wondered if I had just blown my chance.

"Just get here and get these screaming girls calmed down. Then we'll talk. Don't bring Dean."

"I don't have much choice Mare…he's my ride."

"Well just leave him in the car, OK. We need to talk alone."

I was going to reply, but the sudden quiet from my phone told me she had hung up.

"She doesn't want me there?"

"No."

"I'll just wait in the car, or go get some stuff to put in the fridge."

"I don't think I can do it. What will I say?"

"You stood up to Raphael didn't you?"

"Um yes, but what does that have to do with it?"

"He is…um _was _an archangel, dude. Surely that's scarier than your wife?"

The absurdity of that statement struck me and I laughed. "Um, no. My wife is much scarier than Raphael when she wants to be...and I can't exactly trap her in a ring of holy fire and make her listen."

Dean smiled and motioned to the bathroom. "Get dressed. I'll be in the car. You can do it Cas, just relax and if she really loves you she'll come around."


	5. One Step Forward

**One Step Forward  
><strong>  
>I sat in the car for several minutes before I got up the nerve to get out. I could see Mary looking out the front window as she juggled the girls. They were still crying and she looked more frazzled by them than I had ever seen her. I took a deep breath and walked up the steps. I hesitated for second, wondering if I should ring the doorbell instead of just walking in, but Mary was already opening the door. A split second later I was hobbled by two crying toddlers clinging to my legs. She looked at me and sighed, then turned and walked down the hall to our bedroom and closed the door. I was surprised that she left me alone with them, since she had accused me of being crazy.<p>

I wanted to follow her, but the anguished cries of my daughters needed to be dealt with first. I gathered them up into my arms and hugged them tightly. Deanna screamed louder, but Samantha began to calm down just as I expected. I sat down on the couch where Mary had laid out their sweaters and started the arduous process of trying to get Deanna into hers. Samantha was the quieter of the two, and never gave me much trouble in the dressing department. Deanna…well she could be a handful.

I managed to get them ready and stood up, taking their hands and leading them out the door and toward the porch swing. Dean was still sitting in the car, but I didn't have time to acknowledge his presence before I saw Allison coming down the sidewalk with a casserole dish. I settled myself and the girls into the swing and waited for her to approach, waving as she came up the sidewalk.

"Hey John Boy. I thought you weren't feeling well."

"I'm not, but you know this is the only sure way to get them to stop crying."

"Yeah well don't catch pneumonia out here. I brought a chicken casserole…hope that helps."

"Thanks, I'm sure it will."

"The car is in the driveway…is Mary sick too?"

"No, but I wasn't sure I was going to be able to take care of the girls when I got up this morning so she stayed home. I'm feeling better now…maybe it was just something I ate."

"Who's the hot dude in the black car? I saw you leave with him last night…did you go out and get wasted? Is that why you are under the weather?"

It was a plausible explanation, although I rarely touched alcohol. Deanna was still screaming in my ear and Allison didn't seem to notice. Samantha started crying again when I didn't pay attention to her insistent pulls on my t-shirt, so I took the proffered excuse and ran with it.

"Maybe. I…um…I've started remembering some things finally. Dean is an old friend and we went out to celebrate since he thought I was dead for the last five years."

"Wow…that's great. Well I better get going and let you take care of the girls. You take care and we'll catch up tomorrow in the park?"

"I'll do my best to get there tomorrow."

I breathed a sigh of relief as she sat the casserole down on the bench by the door and ran down the porch steps, but tensed again as she waggled her fingers at Dean as she walked by. She was the only single mother in our play group, and probably just Dean's type. I rolled my eyes when he waved back and smiled. That's all I needed…someone I knew trying to jump in bed with the king of the one night stand. After what happened with Lisa and Ben, I doubted he would ever attempt a relationship again.

I turned my attention back to the girls and kissed each one on top of the head. As I rubbed their backs they began to calm down a little and I relaxed again. Unfortunately Deanna took the opportunity when I wasn't holding her tightly to squirm out of my grasp and slide off the swing. She was halfway to the steps before I had time to react, but she just stopped and looked apprehensively at the Impala.

She pointed a chubby finger at it and looked at me. "Who cah dat?"

I smiled, since it was the first time she had used three words in a sentence together. She also looked unbelievably cute. "It's Uncle Dean's car."

"Unkie Dee?"

"Yes, Uncle Dean."

"Me go Dee?"

I adjusted my grip on Samantha and got up to make sure Deanna didn't go running off the porch. I just barely scooped her up before she made a move. I squatted down and pulled her attention away from Dean as I motioned behind her back for Dean to leave. "Dean has to go bye-bye, honey. You can see him another day."

Dean cranked the Impala and Samantha covered her ears. "Woud."

"Yes, loud."

The Impala sputtered a bit and I saw Dean's confused look as he pumped the gas and pulled away. As he pulled away the engine evened out and I watched the girls follow the car down the street with their eyes. They were finally calm, and I could go inside, but I was terrified that another conversation like last night was going to happen. I had to find a way to convince Mary I was telling the truth. Apparently Sam picked up on my fear somehow. She was the more perceptive of the two and often picked up on things that surprised me.

Sam frowned and poked my forehead with her finger. "Da 'fraid?"

I tried to relax and smiled brightly at her. "No, Daddy's not afraid."

She gave me a look of disbelief that was entirely too adult for a child her age, but I didn't know how to reassure her other than to just carry on and hope she forgot about it. I juggled the two of them to one side so I could open the door and went in to find Mary had come back out of the bedroom and was sitting on the couch. Her expression was impossible to read. I motioned to the girls' room and started down the hall to put them down for a nap.

I half expected Mary to come help, but she didn't move from the couch. I took my time putting them down and made sure they were well on their way to sleep before I slipped out of the room and walked slowly back up the hall. Mary was watching me carefully as I approached her. I waited for her to speak first.

"Um…you don't look crazy."

"I'm not."

"You _do _understand why that was a little upsetting last night?"

"Of course. Many hu…uh…people say they believe until they are confronted the object of their belief when it is supernatural in origin."

She rolled her eyes at me. I was rather pedantic when I was nervous, even after all this time…and of course I also almost said human as if I wasn't.

"You actually believe you were an Angel?"

"I know I was. Look, Dean was the same way. It took several attempts and me threatening to throw him back in to Hell before he actually started to believe."

"I just don't know how I'm expected to believe that."

I sat down and took her hand in mine. The fact that she didn't resist or jerk it away gave me some hope that she was willing to see the truth if there was just a way I could show it to her.

"Remember when I first came home from rehab, and you didn't understand why I didn't know how to use the toaster…or the coffee maker…or the microwave…or how to even make cereal? You commented then that it was weird that I just didn't understand any of those things when I had recovered in every other way except my memory."

"Yes, but what does that have to do with anything? The memory loss could have made you forget how to use a toaster."

"True, but could it have made me forget how to use every single thing in the house? The only device I ever used as an Angel was a cell phone…and even that I wasn't very good at. I couldn't even get the voice mail message right. The reason I didn't know how is because I never used those things before. Angels don't eat. I had no need to know."

"But I thought Angels had wings, and looked like…well Angels. You know…halos…harps…long white robes?"

"No…well wings yes…harps, halos and long white robes…no."

I could see the wheels turning in her head, hopefully she was thinking back to all of the other strange things she had to explain to me…like sex and children and what a marriage ceremony was supposed to be like and nearly everything else a human does. I was surprised at the time she never gave up on me.

"OK, say I believe you…why are you here? I mean with me…and not doing Angel things?"

I hung my head, still as ashamed of what I did as the day Dean nearly stopped the whole thing. "I did something incredibly stupid. I was trying to save the world and I nearly destroyed it instead."

She quirked a slight smile and used her finger to raise my chin. "God guy?"

"H-how did you know? Dean said they had taken care of the…evidence."

She pulled some pictures out of her pants pocket and handed them to me. "Well, your friend Dean wasn't with you all night last night. After you went to sleep he came here. Showed me these pictures from before they conveniently disappeared…told me some things. Gave me some more to think about."

I was confused. If Dean had been here why didn't he say anything? How did he have these pictures? "But why did you act like you didn't want me to be here when I arrived?"

"Seeing something like that isn't easy. I wasn't quite ready because the girls had kept me up all night and I hadn't had time to really think about it. I went to our room to look at the pictures carefully, and to think the things Dean told me. I came out and watched you through the window, how good you were with the girls…thought about how clueless you were when they were first born…then I was ready."

"So why did you ask me more questions? If you believed Dean then why ask me?"

"I just needed to be sure…it helped confirm a few things he said."

"Such as?"

She giggled and looked at me before continuing. "He still has your old cell phone…and he played back the voice mail message for me. That was sort of the kicker, and when you mentioned it I was on the way to believing all he said."

I let out the breath I hadn't realized I was holding, but I still wasn't sure everything was resolved. "So are we OK?"

"I think I need some time to process it a little more, but I'm not going to pack you off to the nuthouse."

I wasn't really sure what to do at this point. I wanted to gather her into my arms and hold her forever…or at least until the twins woke up. I didn't though, because I wasn't sure it would be welcome.

She finally reached out to me and I sunk into her arms gratefully. I only had a moment to relish it before we heard a loud pop and the sound of shattering glass coming from the girls' room. I was running down the hall in an instant, fearful that something terrible had happened. When I slid to stop outside the door, I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw the girls staring expectantly to me from their beds. It was short lived, however, since the next thing I saw was the glass all over the floor from the exploded overhead light fixture.


	6. Two Steps Back

**Two Steps Back**

Naturally my first thought was Angel…or possibly demon, and I realized that in my human form I would be defenseless if one should appear. I didn't want to alarm Mary unnecessarily though, so until I could get Dean here to investigate I decided to put it down to an electrical short.

Mary looked up at the light fixture and frowned. "I'll get the girls out and make sure they didn't get hit by any glass."

"I'll clean up while you do that."

I carefully picked up the glass and dumped it in the trash can, then told Mary I was going to the garage to turn off the breakers so if there was a short it wouldn't cause anymore damage. Once there I called Dean in a panic and told him what had happened.

"You think something was there Cas? Why would they try something after all this time?"

"I don't know. M-maybe they didn't know I was alive. They're after my girls Dean. I can't let anything happen to them, even if it means I have to leave."

"Just stay calm. Could just be a short or something. I'll be right there. Just tell Mary I know a thing or two about electrical stuff until we can figure out if it's something bad."

I hung up and ran back into the house to find Mary disinfecting a rather deep cut on Samantha's hand. I didn't want to tell her just yet what I suspected, but I knew I had to eventually. If it was something Supernatural I was probably going to be right back where I started from this morning. Mary would not be happy when she found out that my mere presence in the house could be what put them in danger. I bent to kiss Sam's hand which she was looking at thoughtfully.

"Does it hurt sweetie? Daddy kiss it all better."

She didn't wasn't crying, which seemed strange. She just kept looking at her hand curiously. I just hoped it didn't need stitches. I picked her up and we sat down on the couch for a minute before I spoke.

"Dean's on his way. He knows about electrical stuff…he can fix it."

Mary looked at me curiously. "Wouldn't it be better to call Steve next door? He's a licensed electrician."

I took a deep breath and realized I was going to have to tell her sooner or later, but I didn't want to say anything with the girls near. I was saved by the ringing of the doorbell and I rose to let Dean in. He shot me a look and then proceeded inside to look at the damage.

I stayed with Mary on the couch and waited for Dean to return. Sam started squirming and trying to get down, but I didn't want her out of my grasp until I knew for sure what was going on. As I listened to Dean thump around I lost my grip and her arm slid through my fingers. As the perfect flesh of her hand slipped through mine I gasped and wondered if I had been looking at the wrong one. A brief glance at her other hand told me I was not imagining it…the cut had already healed.

I stood up quickly and scooped her up, making sure my hand was over the place where the cut had been a few seconds earlier. I looked over Mary's shoulder at the wall beyond to avoid looking her in the eye. "I-I'll just go see how Dean is doing. Be right back."

I practically ran to the girls' room and found Dean scanning the room with his EMF meter. The look in his eyes told me he had found something. I didn't want to tell him it was probably my daughter he was reading.

"Um, Dean. You can stop I think."

"Cas, this place is lit up like a Christmas tree. Something was definitely here."

I held my finger to my lips and whispered. "It's not something…it's someone. Sam."

"Sam? He's in California getting signed up for classes."

"Not your Sam…_mine_!"

He stared at her as I explained the cut and then back at me. "You think she's part Angel or something?"

"I don't know how. I'm not an Angel anymore so why would she be?"

"Stranger things have happened. Maybe you did it. Maybe your mojo is coming back and you didn't notice."

"Why after all this time? I think I would know if it was me."

Samantha had been quietly staring up at me the entire time. I looked down at her and she pointed to the night light that was plugged in by the door and giggled. The telltale spark of an electrical short sprang from the wall and it exploded in a spray of glass and plastic. She giggled again. I thought back to when she had said the Impala was loud and then it sputtered.

Dean rolled his eyes at me and I just stood there in shock. It _was _Sam.

"Oh shit. How am I going to tell Mary this?"

I had been so focused on Dean and Sam that I had not noticed Mary standing in the doorway with Deanna.

"Tell Mary _what_?"

My head whipped around and I met her accusing eyes with what I hoped was a calm look; although I pretty sure I had never looked so panicked. "We…um…have a situation."

"What the hell is going on? Why is the night light all over the floor?"

I motioned her over and took Sam's hand in mine and showed it to Mary, she then looked at the other one just as I had.

"But how? That was a deep cut."

"I think Sam may be manifesting Angel powers."

Mary looked at me, then at Dean who shrugged and nodded his head. "You _can't _be serious?"

Dean looked at me and I just covered my face with my free hand a sighed. "Deadly. Pack a bag for you and the girls. We need to get to Bobby's…I mean Dean's place as soon as possible. There are sigils I can use to dampen her powers, but I don't remember them. I need his library. If she's exploding lights there no telling how much damage she can do."


	7. Running for Cover

**Running for Cover**

After a frantic series of phone calls to tell everyone we would be out of town for a family emergency, Mary hurriedly stuffed the bare necessities in our bags and we were on our way to Sioux Falls. I was following Dean in my car, and waiting for Mary to say something, but we were almost halfway there before she said anything. I looked in the rearview mirror to the back seat where she was sitting between the girls' car seats.

She met my eyes wearily. "Angel powers."

"Yes."

"But how?"

"I don't know. I wouldn't have thought they would be passed on since I no longer have them."

"What about Deanna?"

"I don't know."

I thought back to all the times that Samantha had surprised me by being entirely too insightful for a child. The fact that her development was many months ahead of Deanna's even though she was the younger by more than 30 minutes of difficult labor and had weighed two pounds less had always baffled both Mary and I _and _her doctors. When they were first born, the doctors had even told us that Samantha would most likely be developmentally delayed due to her difficult birth and low birth weight. We had prepared for the possibility by reading many books on the subject, but soon realized that we had wasted our time. By the time she was three months old she was well ahead of Deanna in every measurement. She talked first, walked first, and although she was generally quieter than Deanna, she was already stringing four or more words together in sentences. It seemed we now had an explanation, but one that meant more questions

"I suspect it is just Samantha, but I can't be sure. I'm sorry I wish I could tell you more. When we get to Bobby's I'll be able to do some tests to find out."

She rubbed her face with both hands and sighed. I wanted to hold her and tell her everything would be OK, but I wasn't even sure of that myself. If what was left of the Holy Host found out…or Crowley's band of demons…we could be in serious trouble. I only hoped that we could get to the bottom of it before any of them found out. Unexplained bursts of Angelic Grace could have any of them investigating already, and I was fearful that they would find us before we got to the safety of Bobby's panic room. I hadn't even told her Demons were real yet.

Once we arrived at the house Dean and I agreed that the best place for Mary and the girls was the panic room until we could figure out exactly what was going on. I was surprised to see that it no longer resembled the dungeon that it had when I had seen it last. Dean had furnished it with a decent double bed, recliner, TV, microwave and small refrigerator.

He shrugged when I looked at him in disbelief. "I figured if I had to use it I might as well be comfortable."

Mary just sat in the edge of the bed trying to keep the girls occupied. I tried to take a mental inventory of the things we would need for the twins since we didn't have time to pack more than the bare necessities. Mary still hadn't spoken much, and I was afraid she might be in shock. I wrote a list for Dean and handed it to him.

"I need you to go get these things. I don't think I should leave them alone…and I can get started on the research."

"Man, I don't know what half this shit even _is_."

"Just go to the Babies R Us we passed on the way in and hand someone the list. We didn't exactly have time to bring the whole nursery."

"OK, I'll get some grub while I'm out."

Dean handed me the Demon Knife and I hesitated before taking it. He moved over the locker on which he had once drawn a sigil to banish me and opened the door. Inside I saw a brief flash that told me an Angel Blade was stored there. He closed it quickly before Mary could see. I was armed if anything did happen, but the Angel Blade would likely be rather ineffective in the hands of an out of shape, human former Angel. I waited for Dean to leave and turned to look at Mary. The blank look in her eyes scared me. I sat down and put my arm around her and found that she was shaking.

"Are you cold?"

"Yeah…a little. I'm scared more than anything."

"I'm sorry. I promise we'll get this figured out as soon as we can. I know I haven't explained much, but until I have time to do some research I don't know much more than you do."

I kissed her on the cheek and she smiled weakly at me. My heart ached for what she was going through because of me."

"It's OK, John…I mean…_Cas_. Whatever happens I know you'll do the right thing for them."

"You can call me John if you want to. I know calling me Cas will take some time. Just stay here while I go upstairs and find some pillows so you can barricade the bed and put the girls down for a nap…and I'll get you a blanket."

She smiled and visibly relaxed a bit. "For somebody that didn't know a thing about babies you sure are good at it now."

"Thanks. I try. Now I'm going to close the door while I'm gone just to be on the safe side. You OK with that?"

She nodded and watched as I walked out and I cringed as the door clanged shut, remembering all the times Dean and I had put Sam in there, and the time we had to put Dean in there to keep him from saying yes to Michael. It was unfathomable to me that I was now locking my own wife and children in there, but I had no idea what the extent of Samantha's powers was and if I could even contain them. I only hoped that what was left of Bobby's library would produce the sigil I needed.

I returned with blankets, pillows and several photocopies of the books that I though might hold the answer. Mary had already crawled into the bed herself and was asleep, her body curled protectively around the girls who were also asleep. I was amazed that the creaking door hadn't awakened them. I placed the blanket over them and placed the pillows on the edge carefully, then sat down and made myself comfortable in the recliner to read.

I pulled out my reading glasses and realized Dean was probably going to laugh, but I settled them on my nose and began to flip through the first set of papers. Unfortunately with no Angelic powers, I had to deal with human frailties like poor eyesight. The fact that my daughter apparently had some powers was confusing. You can't pass on something you don't have.

I startled awake as I heard the door squeak. I had fallen asleep reading. I quickly looked over at the bed to see that Mary and the girls were still sleeping peacefully. Dean suppressed a laugh when I looked at him sternly over my glasses. I got up and went out to see how much of my list he had managed to acquire.

"All this for two babies?"

"Yes, leaving the house with babies in tow normally requires that you take half the house with you. Babies are not for the faint of heart."

"I see that."

He smiled, still obviously amused by my need for glasses. "Did you and your glasses find anything?"

I pushed the offending devices up on top of my head. "No Dean, I fell asleep almost as soon as you left, but I think they will be safe for tonight."

He thumped the earpiece with a finger and grinned. "Well don't forget they are up there grandpa!"

"Very funny Dean. I'll stay down there with my girls. You go get some sleep."


	8. Unprecedented

**Unprecedented**

Morning came all too quickly, and I was surprised but thankful that both girls slept through the night. I was stiff from sleeping in the recliner even though it was fairly comfortable. The main problem was that it reminded me a little too much of the hospital bed I was confined to for many months.

Unfortunately, waking in a strange place and not sticking to their usual routine turned my daughters into cranky and uncooperative little monsters. Cute monsters…but I was pretty sure Mary was ready to give up by lunchtime. She was used to leaving them with me and going off to work. I was surprised when Dean seemed to notice and offered to give her a break while I prepared lunch after an unproductive morning of research. She sat down at the table with an exhausted sigh. It was the first time since we left the house that we had been out of earshot of the girls, so I took the opportunity to try to talk to her some more about what abilities Samantha might manifest.

I left the sandwiches I was making and sat down across from her. "Would you like to talk about what Sam might be able to do…so you are ready if it happens?"

"I don't think anything would surprise me at this point."

"Well you've seen the healing, and the electrical disturbances…possibly telekinesis..."

"And?"

I rubbed my face with my hands and imagined my daughter with wings…wings I couldn't see of course since I wasn't an Angel, but I remembered what they would look like if I could. I really didn't want to say it aloud, but Mary needed to be prepared if it happened. "Flying."

"_Flying?_ On _come_ _on _you have to be joking, how can she fly?"

"With wings."

"She doesn't have wings…_God _I can't believe I just said that."

I could see the frustration building, but I didn't know how to alleviate it. I was fairly certain that I was only going to make it worse. There was no way around it though. She had to know.

"She may or may not develop them; if she does we likely won't know it until…she tries to fly. They aren't visible to humans."

"So she's just going to float across the room?"

Mary's voice got higher and her eyebrows climbed higher into her hairline as I plowed on. I was just hoping that my decision to be completely forthcoming wasn't going to backfire.

I shook my head. "I honestly don't know. This is…unprecedented. _I _am unprecedented."

"What do you mean _you _are?"

"Normally when Angels fall they are reborn as human infants…completely oblivious to their former existence and powerless. I am still here in the form of my vessel without any of the Grace that made me an Angel. I am as human as you are, so there is no explanation for why our union would produce a child with Angelic powers. There is no such thing as baby Angels…we were simply created by God…so I don't know if our research will turn up anything other than hopefully a sigil or spell that will dampen or suppress her powers."

"What the _hell _is a vessel?"

I realized too late that I had steered the conversation into dangerous territory. Discussing human vessels and the consent issue was probably not wise. I hadn't actually considered the possibility that Sam was simply a fallen Angel like Anna, however it would be the biggest coincidence on the face of the earth if she was and _I _just happened to be her father.

I reached across the table and took Mary's hand in mine. "Not germane to Sam's situation so let's leave that for another time?"

"I guess. I've had about enough Angel education for one day."

"I understand. I suppose what I'm trying to say is that I don't know if she will have wings, and if she does what will happen. We could be worrying about nothing, but I want you to be prepared if she does."

"Anything else?"

"Nothing of import."

Yes, there _was _more, but I couldn't bring myself to unload any more onto her. Three days ago she just thought Angels were Bible stories, and today she was being forced to accept that her daughter might be some form of one. I was shocked, but I could not begin to imagine how it must feel to her. I had unwittingly blown her world view to Hell in the span of hours. Dean had been surprised to find out about Angels, but at least he had the advantage of knowing about most of the Supernatural world first. Mary was going in completely blind.

After lunch Mary went back down to sit with the girls and I went with her to play with them for a few minutes before Dean and I hit the books again. I could tell she was affected by our conversation by the way she looked at Sam. I sighed and hoped that it wouldn't be apparent to Sam that her mother now viewed her with some apprehension.

Sam looked at me and cocked her head. "Why Mommy watch me?"

I shot a look at Mary and she sagged visibly. She knew as well I as I did that we needed to act as normally as possible with the girls to keep them from getting worried. Now that we knew _why _Sam might seem more perceptive we had to be doubly careful. "She's just worried about your boo-boo."

Sam held her hand up and showed it to me triumphantly. "No more boo-boo!"

"I see that. Where did the boo-boo go?"

I heard a stifled laugh and turned my head to see Dean standing in the doorway. I gave him my best _I am an Angel of the Lord and I will smite you _look. He straightened slightly, looking suitably contrite.

Sam cocked her head at him, exactly like I once did. "Wha funny Unkie Dee?"

I could see his chest shaking as he tried valiantly to suppress his laughter. I was barely able to contain it myself. It _was _rather cute.

"Your Daddy is funny, Sam."

She shook her head vigorously. "Da not funny. Mommy funny."

"Perceptive kid you got there Cas."

"Apparently."

When I turned my attention back to Sam she was looking curiously at the nick on my chin where I had cut myself shaving that morning.

"Daddy got boo-boo?"

I nodded and smiled at her. "Yes, Daddy has boo-boo."

She reached out with a chubby finger and touched it. I felt a tingle and my eyes went wide as I ran my finger across it and felt nothing but stubble. Healing yourself as an angel was easy. Healing other people required more power. Mary stood there with a shocked look on her face, then backed away slightly. I swallowed down the lump in my throat and turned to Dean.

"We need to find that sigil quickly."


End file.
